Exclusive of the year: “Provocative” Iranian weaponry for sale on the internet.

  In a menacing turn of events, similar hardware which seriously threatened the entire US naval fleet in international waters a few days ago has now appeared on a jihadist website for sale – even to children under the age of 14.

Iranians have mastered the technology to produce this IRANIAN WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION which if deployed could reach our shores within 45 months.

The most popular one was the dual-seater dingy-1 which has near unlimited range (depending on crew) and comes, as an ex-Iranian official currently in exile near Crawford Texas informed us, bundled with links to organizations associated with ‘blowing things up”. The dingy-1 is their most prized version and the Iranians are so confident in their technology, they even offer a 30 day replacement warranty. A source in the pentagon says they have received communication that Kims Jong’s Ill, has been secretly trying to procure them, advising recalled diplomats to stash them in their diplomatic baggage.

boat1.jpg
Prize of the Iranian fleet: the dingy-1

The second one, the dingy-2 is an improved version with much greater range. A picture was obtained by our assistant researcher from MEMRI who we gave £50,000 to, (US $240m – yesterdays values) who then sped off in an unmarked car to meet an unknown personal source deep within the powerful Iranian military. The dingy-2 It is also longer therefore more capable of blockading our oil flowing through our Straits.

 boat2.jpg 
The dingy-2. Note: Iranian bearded Revolutionary guard in western disguise not included but is an upgrade option, subject to negotiation.

Lastly there is another model, dongie-1 which our researcher has learnt translates roughly to “A secret nuclear bomb to destroy all Christian, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist’s, number 1” comes in the interior which is revolution red, said by our researcher to symbolize the blood of all Christians Jews and Hindus and Seven Day Adventists besides. It’s rugged design is to allow a firmer beaching / amphibious assault capability.

boat3.jpg
The dongie-1. Intelligence sources suggest it also encorporates Iranian stealth technology.

Finaly, we exclusively managed to obtain this exclusive picture, by exclusively hiring an exclusive local fisherman to sail in international waters near to the dark menacing ocean of Iran’s claimed territorial waters.

boat4.jpg 
A dingy-1 being deployed in a hostile maneuver against the defenders of freedom.

Sadly, all of our cameras weren’t working that day, but this one frame proves the sizeable Iranian fleet is showing an increased audaciousness which our assistant says, is a flagrant display by the Iranians who are seeking to use this weaponry to further their goal to take over the world unless they are stopped soon.
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6 Responses to “Exclusive of the year: “Provocative” Iranian weaponry for sale on the internet.”


  1. 1 StefZ January 9, 2008 at 11:20 am

    You may mock but don’t forget that the Americans managed to get the whole Vietnam War going after a fleet of its ships were ‘attacked’ in North Vietnamese waters by the sound of their own propellers and some fish…

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gulf_of_Tonkin_Incident

  2. 2 lwtc247 January 9, 2008 at 11:48 am

    Indeed they did, but try telling that to some people. They’d never believe you.

  3. 3 antireptilian January 9, 2008 at 3:00 pm

    Living With

    Sometimes , you’ve got to laugh at propaganda. This was a funny article.

    The not so funny thing is that this sort of thing is fed to the masses on a daily basis. After all, a 45 min nuclear holocaust managed to get the British gvernment and population behind the current war on terror.

    Regards
    Antireptilian

  4. 5 lwtc247 January 11, 2008 at 1:22 am

    Anti-

    I’m glad you realised spot-on the nature of the post. It is sad that if such a report was published in FOX or the BBC people wouldn’t question it. But perhaps it is more sad that reports like this actually could end up on such media outlets in the first place!

    As regards the 45 min thing… I had the perception that it only fooled a number of the murdering scum in the commons and that the public were still very sceptical. Once again it shows the terrible nature of the political system. One that is hostage to a number of corruptions and arrogance.

  5. 6 lwtc247 January 11, 2008 at 1:28 am

    Stef.
    Yeah. The first thought that went through my mind on watching the video, was that it exhibited many hallmarks of thge same idiotic fakery we have seen before in regards to the War OF Terror.

    However the Iranians were reported by the BBC as saying it was just a normal event (Hummm… BBC….) so I thought well maybe the NON-incident did happen but the USans were adding a touch of artistry.

    Then as you say, reports by the Iranains faked it emerged.
    Quelle surprize.

    But the thing is the US is now so prolific in its propaganda and fakery that it gives others the chance to shout “FAKE” and straight away discredit US accusations, to which on blalance I will only say this: GOOD!


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