LHC 20 years on

Mythos Albright (Grandson of ex-US Secretary of State Madeline Albright) heading the Large Hadron Collider (LHC), caused a storm of protest today when upon being presented with the question “20 years on, what has the LHC achieved?”, Mr. Albright said “Nothing really, but what did you really expect? – This is quantum Physics after all.”

Scientists demanded the resignation of Mr. Albright on the grounds he knew nothing about Science and in his position was purely administrative, not scientific.

Later, Mr Tim Berners-Lee Jr, Chief Scientific officer, said in an interview with one of our reporters:

“We have achieved spectacular results. We’ve seen that that the greater the energy we employ, the more subsets of ‘force particles’ we uncover. We now think that the Higgs-boson is actually comprised of a number of  previously unpostulated constituent mass-forces. Then of course we have all the spin-off developments our large teams of computational scientists have developed, like the world wide wub [wireless unrestricted broadband] – the bandwidth free technology were using in this interview right now”

The journalist pressed: “What of the sizeable number of scientists who say that really, the likelihood that the LHC models the early Universe is pretty low?” Mr Berners-Lee Jr. retorted:

“There were some scientists who believed that anthropogenic factors were chiefly responsible for climate change. Your point is?”

Moving on, our journalist asked: “Even with what you call ‘spectatular results’, isn’t it the case that really we have no idea how close we are to an absolute model of the subatomic atom, assuming of course it is possible to formulate an absolute model?

“Yes, we haven’t formulated an absolute model but we may do so in the future, especially if the plans to build VLHC, or LHC-2 as it’s popularly known as, are approved. As regards to whether or not we can ever describe the atom or sub-atom with 100% precision, who’s to say, but does that mean we should stop trying to improve the current model?”

Hey, I’m asking the questions here” said our journalist laughing.

The estimated cost of that proposed new generation accelerator is put €450 Trillion. What do you say to the critics that say this money, and indeed the estimated €6.4 Billion spent on the LHC, that the money would have been better spent on global health and poverty eradication programs, i.e. more humanistic concerns across the globe BEFORE we undertook such elaborate experimental research?

 “Well yes, that is of course an issue, but if ‘Ewing’ [UWG – Unified World Government] and research bodies decide to construct LHC-2, as the old states like the UK and France etc. did before with LHC, really what can anyone do about it?. One could also argue that we shouldn’t spend money of fancy coloured ‘smart’ paving in the streets of our modern cities and spend the money on treating GM victims in the United States but nobody ever asks that do they?”

What of the energy factor? – A lot of people were unhappy that the LHC in effect, drains huge amounts of the last remaining usable oil derived electricity for its operation, or, looking at it another way, requires ‘x’ amount of nuclear power stations to allow for beam generation and sustenance; 10 Giga Joules is the latest value. How do you answer critics on that point?

“Again that is something Ewing must answer, but it’s possible health, famine and energy concerns will always be with us. If we tried to resolve those issues first, LHC would never have been built!”

 


Picture from the LCH related archives

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