Darling, let’s not have sex together.

From about 13 years old up to about 18/19 I grew up a a fairly godless society. By that, I mean God didn’t play any significant role (if any) in influencing how I lead my life.

 

From about 18/19 to about 20/21, I was exposed to a habitat where Islam and Hinduism was more visual. Duing that time, I watched an almost 100 episode serialisation of the Hindu Maharabarat. The story was great and very interesting to me but really only from the point of view of ‘politics’ and ‘interpersonal relationships’ less so the religio philosophical part. I wasn’t really aware of the differences between Hinduism and Islam, but at 21 I was begining to passively come to know of those differences.

 

Then I left that habitat and went to a different ‘godless’ place. I was maturing and my self-destructing streak, ahtough still strongly present was beginning to lessen.

 

Throughout that time (13-21), amongst the small circles of friends i mingled in (some of the earlier ones prided themselves in believing they were somehow ‘different’ from the rest of society – often but not exclusively Goths/rockers/indy kind of friends) I felt a pressure to lose my virginity.

 

As a mature person now, looking back at it in an honest fashion, that pressure was mostly self-generated. I felt I had to show that I wasn’t such a bad person primarily from a physical perspective but also to a self-perception mental ‘this is me and what I have chosen to be’ perspective.

 

 Most of the pressure wasn’t peer generated, but some of it was.

 

From being very young. about 10 years old, I had a few ‘scary’ moments when matters related to sex and sexual physiology were being discussed. Being in a group of friends the occasional question/statement loaded with ‘kids sex slang words’ came my wy. Sometimes I didn’t really know what they meant, or how to begin talking about it, having never discussed anything like that before. Result: they mildly ridiculed me, but at the time, it was terrible, like the whole world was laughing. I really didn’t like it. I was sensitive to ridicule.

 

Going back further, I remember sitting in school (about 6 years old) and the class was singing a song. There was a persons name in the song and it matched mine. Because of that connection, the song ‘became’ about me! The song was a kinf of ‘joke’ song, and I thought people were laughing at me. That experience set the groundwork for my sensitivity to riducule. So, when I faced ridicule due the ‘sexual discussion’ matters from older and more cruel peers, I felt quite bad.

 

This embarassing (leading to ridicule) ‘I don’t know’ (or stumbling to be able to talk about it properly – keading to ridicule) reply I gave, came up again later in life in my teenage years, quite rarely, yes, but they were moments I would dread..

 

So I had the “poor self confidence factor” as well as the questions of ‘could anyone love me / am I nice enough to be loved?‘, and to some degree ‘why can’t I have this apparently beautiful relationship with a beautiful girl that I can see other people have?‘ buzzing around in my head, as well as some peer pressure.

 

I really wanted to lose my virginity.

 

Now I’m old, I know the self-confidence and peer pressure thing should not have been an issue. However at the time, it very definately was. The desire to lose my virginity was a significant part of ‘growing up’ and so often I felt bad because of it.

 

A couple of years ago I watched a program about USan kids who took a pledge to uphold their virginity and wore a ring to symbolise and advertise that pledge. They were open about wanting to retain their virginity.

 

Why oh why oh why couldn’t I have been like that when I was young. Virginity was something I perceived as shameful and brought mild contempt upon me from a small number of my peers.

 

Now I realise one difference. It was that those USan kids were incorporating God via Christianity (don’t know which type) into their lives which gave them the strength of self belief and helped them avoid the personal turmoil I experienced, as well as lifting them to an admirable stance of morality absent from my life at the time.

 

silver-ring-thing-virginity-pledge-us

 

I think those kids are fantastic.

 

http://www.youtube.com/v/BQCaGjoNizs&hl=en

 

Side note:

When “teenager”, here was me previously and arrogantly thinking I, along with some friends, was somehow different from ‘normal society’, liberated from being ‘square’, better in some way. Yet I was deluding myself. I ridiculed my school mates for being ‘normal’ when here was me, thinking I should be ‘sleeping around’ too – doing hoping to do the thing that my culture was starting to become standard practice. How ‘different’ huh? Not only that, but when at school hypocritically cast out mild ridicule upon some of my classmates when I myself didn’t welcome such a thing. The nastiness I showed to my classmates is my responsibility It would be dishonest to blame someone/something else, but to step down the path I went along, was quite easy, partly fuelled by my own jealousy of those people whose lives were ‘normal’ when mine was not (partly, but not entirely by my own making).

 

As time passed I was getting older(durr!) and maturing so I was naturally changing anyway. The lack of self confidence, although still an issue, wasn’t allowed to affect me that much. I was unconsciously beginning to fit into ‘normal society’ but I did consciously decide to make some alterations in my life to cut out some of those things which were harming me.

 

This was when I was about 21. Over the next few years, in fits and starts, I began taking significant steps in my intellectual growth. Soon after I came across Islam which I started to learn about.

 

On reading a part of the Qur’an about Isa (Jesus) a.s. Qur’an I had the feeling this IS Divine Revelation and I read about the prophet Muhammad(saw). Eventually I concluded Islam is the wisdom to lead a successful life.

 

I am now very self-aware, very honest with myself, and highly self-confident. In part this is due to my analysis of my past life but also my religious belief. If only my eyes were opened from an internal and external perspective then my youth would not have been so wasted. But I am here today because of my past and I regards life now and in most cases the society and people around me as a beautiful gift. Alhamdulillahi rabbilallameen..

 

Why am I writing about all this? Because I saw something that had some similarities with my life, different parts of it are being played out by a mother and her handicapped son.

 

I shouldn’t be writing this now, I have FAR too much work to do, but I felt the need to write this, perhaps as a continuous process of self-healing, albeit effectively not needed and extinct, but also as an appeal to those facing the same issues to realise: it’s an illusion, there is an escape pod. This world is noting you don’t have to give up your virginity in what I’d call, perhaps unkindly,  ‘a western’ fashion.

 

The story is here:

Mother wants sex for Down’s son at http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7948511.stm

 

When I have more time, I will comment about it as well as highlight and criticise the terrible stance of the mother. Also related to the issue, is the Dutch mother featuring in a post I made on my original lwtc247 blog in Oct 2007: http://lwtc247.blog.co.uk/2007/10/23/in_persuit_of_the_bhagwans_freedom~3180442/ 

 

Virginity is valuable and has been regarded as so for thousands of years among many societies and cultures. Maintaining virginity avoids much social unrest. Don’t let the godless society con you into losing that.

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4 Responses to “Darling, let’s not have sex together.”


  1. 1 AkMaR March 18, 2009 at 5:43 am

    Salam.
    This is a fascinating post to read.
    I had always wondered abt how adults went thru their childhood, youth, teenage time, and somehow managed to be what they are now.

    I really believe everybody has their own history, and stories to tell and share and i’m trying to make mine an interesting one.
    =)

    Reading abt a once teenager’s confession who spent his youth in a Western country somehow gave me a clearer idea abt what’s really happening there. Since movies on TV are not so honest, i think i can really believe this story. =)

  2. 2 lwtc247 March 18, 2009 at 6:35 am

    Salam 2 u 2.

    It was fascinating to write!

    Movies, especially from about my 15-20 time, did have a significant influence on me. It was almost impossible to come across a movie without female nakedness in it (often but not always partially naked – top part) womens body {v. rarely mens bodies – thankfully – LOL} OR sex scenes OR stuff with ‘relationships in it’.

    And to be honest I liked watching them. At the time I didn’t see anything wrong in it. My society didn’t look badly upon pursuing self indulgence. It was a part of my society (as was drinking alcohol).

    Leaving aside the sex/affair/zina stuff for now, some may say ‘relationship’ related kinds of things feature so heavily because they are a significant part of life. Well yeah, but only to a point. At this stage we should not forget there is an influential feedback mechanism in movies with life, but the trouble is, to someone not in a relationship it can make one very unhappy indeed to see everyone else in a relationship no matter what form that may be, be it gf/bf stuff, picking up girls at the nightclub etc (I cringe when I think of nightclubs now. Dear of dear!)

    I am cautious around unmarried people not to mention marriage etc in case I make them feel that way too. I bet when they watch those movies and programs they probably seem similar.

    As you have deduced, the movies do exaggerate. A foreigner who came to the UK once told be they expected everyone to ‘sleeping around’ and doing all this ‘relationship stuff’ (casual or otherwise) and had low morals and so on. It wasn’t nearly as bad as they had lead to think from the movies.

    So if your not in western country remember the movies present things quite far beyond what they actually are. That’s not to say it’s the land of milk and honey either! There is IMHO a serious problems with the fabric of a healthy society there.

    My personal sensitivity made me put more importance on it. My emphasis on that part of my life shouldn’t necessarily be seen as representative of what all people think, although I have no way of knowing what level these issues played in other peoples lives.

  3. 3 AkMaR March 21, 2009 at 3:24 am

    Salam.

    Yes, i believe the movie is exaggerating.
    Believe me, i had always have very very bad perception towards westerner.
    i doubt they can ever tame themselves down.
    With all the exposures of immoral celebrities, uncensored movies, i was almost sure teenagers there are not virgin.
    Honestly speaking, once i had the thought that westerners especially Americans can nvr be trusted, they are easily seduced (this always happen in movies where these are usually the cause of marriage destruction), and they are always seducing.

    this is mainly because of the no restriction towards free intimacy, one night stand, girlfriends and boyfriends issues and totally free social life.

    But lately i’m changing that perception little by little.
    perhaps i owe that change to you?

  4. 4 lwtc247 March 28, 2009 at 5:14 pm

    Salam 2u2.

    “But lately i’m changing that perception little by little.
    perhaps i owe that change to you?” – I feel flattered by that but also a little bit scared.

    I’m flattered because it makes me feel like my outlook on life is justified and correct and that I’ve have ‘helped’ people see what I see – everyone like it when their opinions are embraced by others. You don’t specifically say you see the same way as me, but it looks like I have helped you question things a bit more.

    If only more people questioned things and had done so long ago – in all aspects of life! – then I’m sure the planet wouldn’t have been as bad as it is today.

    I’m scared however I am acutely aware of how little I know, and that which I think I do know comes largely from other people who may know as little as I. This means I’m very aware I could be terribly wrong about things. I don’t think I’m seriously wrong as I do put a LOT of effort and thought into my beliefs and outlooks. So the rigour that I question others, please apply that to me also. You seem like a very smart person anyway so that appeal is probably already out of date.

    As for western society… Now I pretty much hate the young ‘new o pubs/fags/booze/drugs/finding yourself kind of culture which various elements try (successfully) try and make youths feel. It wasn’t always like that. The UK used to a more conservative society. I’d say drugs/Music/fashion/easy money (petro pound, corporation imperialism, and paper money) as well as two horrific wars, influenced and offered British people a new way of life. A one that encouraged individualism, where YOU were your own God. It may have started out ‘innocently’ enough, but as a God conscious person now and after all the reading I have done, I am convinced all this godlessness was deliberate.

    And perhaps it was my somewhat unusual social circle that made me blow up the importance of sex/losing virginity way out of all proportion, but it would be wrong of me to give the impresssion that I think the blame lies with me OR my society – both did play a factor, as dod the movies, as did the magazines with ‘perfect’ people all over them leading the ‘fancy life’ and so forth.

    Western society is in a sorry sate of decay, but there are still real GEMS of people there. After all, who is it that go the 9-11 conspiracy ball rolling? It certainly wasn’t the silly Muslims who were out in the streets “rejecting Osama” and saying “Islam means peace” – basically swallowing all the lies the BuSh/bLiar scum bads were piling on top of them. No. The Muslims ere apologising for everything allowing their religion to be accused of the most disgrraceful taunts and manipulations.

    It was chiefly the WHITE, WESTERN, NON-MUSLIMS ( I could name quite a few) who pointed the finger at the right place – at BuSh, his neocons, and their ultimately their fake-Israyhell, the godless-Israyhell Zionist philosophy by way of wealthy Zionist media moguls, Industrialists, and pay masters.

    And sadly today many Muslims are still pointing their fingers at themselves in some respects.

    Not all westerners are having casual sex – I’d say MANY are. there are Christians (and Jews for that matter) who lead good lives. But it’s not in the corporate media’s interests to highlight them – there’s no money to be made out of it.


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