You designers are bloody crap!

The other day I tried to hang up a towel that was pegged onto a plastic coat-hanger. It fell off the rail. I picked it up, put it back then it fell down again. This happened once more. That kind of thing happens quite a bit to me. I wondered why on earth this was happening. Do I always have to spend that much thought and effort to hang up a towel / throw scrunched up paper into the bin / pour out drinks over the sink… or else these clutzy things happen to me?  This time I hung it up more carefully and observed what was happening. It turns out, it wasn’t me at all! It was the stupid bloody coat hanger. The overhang of the hook at the end was so small that if the hanger ‘leant backwards’ on the rail, it would fall off. Meldrew like, I couldn’t believe it. Likely some pieve of trash designed the overhang of the hook to be as small as possible to make something that looked like a hook but demonstrably had great problms in behaving like a hook. They probably saved 0.5 pence per unit. You know what? Although once in a blue moon I design things in my head, I have no design accreditation to my name whatsoever. that said I would never design or have my name associated with anything as ‘total profit based’ as that shameful thing.

Having bought a New Nokia phone a few months back I learned Nokia in their ‘total profit’ based wisdom have changed the adaptor from to a new slim adaptor. So all the spare rechargers I bough were redundant, however an enquiry revealed there was an adaptor – which cost not that mush less than the new adaptor. The adaptor, like the new connection was another shameful design. Everytime I see it, touch it or plug it into my phone, the words  “this is gonna break any time soon”  go through my head.

A few years back I bought a ladder. It wasn’t cheap and when I started using it, only a few minutes after being up it, then my feat started hurting. The steps were pretty narrow, so it was a bit like walking on a knife blade. I’ve not used it that often and the safety bolt on one side of the ladder came off already, having had the ‘plactic shoe’ in the feet of the ladder having come out. 

The plastic little flap for my USB digicam is feeble and will shortly become damaged.

The battery cover on my previous digicam came off rendering the camera useless.

The magnet on my fridge isn’t so strong so when closing the freezer door above, the fridge door opens for a bit (if the freezer door isn’t shut too hard the fridge door will just open slightly then close itself).

The wooden rungs sofa I bought broke, having a little sticky out put from the main rung slot into a hole on the parallel ‘runners’ at the side.

The roof of my bouse has such a poor overhand that when it rains water leaks through.

I think the flyspray once used continues to leak slightly.

The LCD on my microwave manfunctioned in warranty and out of warranty and it too costly to replace.

The ceramic floor tiles are set so taht there is a groove inbetween then so if dirt falls in there then it’s difficult to get out.

The mechanics in the cistern (water tank) on the toilet was such that it was easy for the handle the ‘max’ point and therefore damaged the mechanics.

The plastic tap in the garden at the front of the house had a bulbous ‘hand grip spokes’ on the outside which narrowed dramaticall as it attached to the spindle. Eventually the spokes snapped off one by one, meaning more stress would get applied to the reaming spokes which rapidly also broke off.

The wooden dining chairs and concrete garden seat have no truss to stop large stresses building up if a lateral force is applies. The hole to slot the sun shield umbrella in the accompanying concrete garden table is such that when the umbrella is put in, the concrete will damage the metal central pole of the umbrella by scratching it.

The DVD player is a 2 pin machine. When you touch it while switched on you can get an electric shock. The more gently you brush against it, the more painful the shock seems to be.

The plastic lid/flap one the 1L juice cartons I buy have such pathetic glue on them, that while trying to open the carton, the flap sometimes comes off in your hand. Or occaisonally while pouring juice out of them, they will dribble liquid underneath the flap.

The mugs I’ve bought have handles which when you life the cup up, put sonsiderable stress on your fingers to stop the cup from turning to a more stable position which would see all the qiquid drain out.

The calculator I sue must be kept within a pretty narrow range of angles from you head and eyes oe the LCD becomes unreadable (digitals 8’s seem to appear obscuring the actual display)

The spoon I have when digging into some stuff ice-cream bends as there is no provision for coping with such forces. Some of the forks I have are similar.

The fan I have, if tilted at an agle too far downwards starts to make a rattling sound. The blade of the fan has some ‘play’ from the restraining bar on the spindle enabling the fan blades to advance or retreat about hald a cm wich causes the rattling.

The DIY cupboard I bought have such a thin plastic pivot that if the dorr experiences any casual or accidental force then it will break off. This curboard as laminate for its back which has wapred and eventually come out when putting things in it.

The central lock keypad on my car keys is held together with a tiny screw (that needs a ‘microscrewdriver or a pointed knife to open) which screwed into a small grooved plastic columm. The keypad isn’t watertight, so when I dropped my keys into a puddle during a rainstorn the water short circuited the key pad and the door kept opening, closing, opening, closing all the while beeping accordingly. The batter would have gone flat so I had to break open the keypad and the the grooved female column broke. the keypad is held together now with a few rounds of sellotape.

The vegetable/cheese grater I had was pyrimida in shape and so narrow that it was very difficult to clean the inside of it. The miserable plastic handle on the top broke eventually, so I go a flat grater. The forces applied to it while greating cold cheese caused the surrounding plastic aroung the perimeter to snap resulting in the hande at the top almost coming off too.

The expensive washing machine has to have the water-drain outlet raised to almost the height of the top of the washer (like in an inverted U-tube shape) so that when the water enters the washing machine, it doesn’t just dribble out of the washing machines water-drain outlet. this means residual water remains in the outlet pipe and if it’s not manually emptied and/or washimg machine used regularly, the residual water in the tube gets quite smelly.

The handles of my almost all cloth based bags (‘green’ reuisable shopping bag type thing) I’ve ever seen will come off if the back is pucked up quicly.

The handle of the louvre windows is shaped such that when it’s pulled down, then it can distory and initiate fatigue.

The expensive wooden curtain rail I bought has hoops which the connect to the metal hooks in the ‘hem'(?) of the curtains. These hoops are of the most dreadful wality that the question marked hooks which accommoodate the main crtain hooks simply come out or crack/split the hoop should the little question mark hook be tured in too tightly. The hoops also have a high coefficient of friction from the rail so when the surtains are drawn/closed, the stress on the questionmark hook in the hoop means the hoop can get damaged. The cheaper plastic rail isn’t problem free but is much better than the wooden one.

The cheap laser printer I bought never works instantly when I plug it into the computer.

The umbrella I have has the ribs come out of the little plastic “cloth-to-spoke” connectors

The shoe laces of the trainers (running shoes) I have snappped when tieing them.

The garden spade I have bent when trying to lift soil. the hand came off at the end too.

The ‘boot open’ lever on my car has bent and twised so much that it has become virtually impossible to open the boot now.

One very sad fact is: Although I am not a designer, I could EASILY design better stuff than all this junk that surrounds me. And in most cases it’s not that the design had to be cromprimised due to cost factos. Ruccish! it’s deliberately designed  NOT to be good and/or designed NOT to last.

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